The following blog contains two rounds of Judge, participated in my Aynee, Jace, Mark, and myself. To those of you who didn’t grow up playing Judge (anyone in the world aside from me, Marlene, Johna and Jolene), it’s a game made up by the aforementioned people. It involves a Judge, two witnesses, and a defendant. Witness 1 speaks first, and tells what they saw the defendant doing. The defendant then has a chance to explain why they did what witness 1 accused them of. Witness 2 speaks next, and their story can closely align with witness 1’s story, or be different. It’s best if the witness finds a good way to make their story back up the first witness story with a new twist. Then the defendant explains again, and finds a way to draw the two witness’s stories together. The Judge speaks last, and gives their verdict. They can also question to clarify during the process. The best rounds involve imaginative people making up crazy stories.
Witness 1: Jace
Witness 2: Aynee
Defendant: Hannah
Judge: Mark
Jace: The first day we got here and were driving to the airport, Hannah was sitting behind me, and she reached up and jerked a hair out of my head. I thought it was slightly strange at the time, but didn’t say anything about it. However, ever since that day Hannah has jerked a hair out of my head every day. I’m now getting a bald spot on my head! I’ve brought this to court because this needs to stop.
Hannah: I confess, I have a…..fetish. I love curly blonde hair, and every time I see Jace, I just can’t stop myself! I HAVE to take one of them! I take it back to my room where I have a picture frame, and glue a piece inside every day to create a hair collage. …I only take one piece… And…it’s just so tempting… *reaches hands towards Jace’s head*
Mark: Witness 2, what is your reason for being here today?
Aynee. Well, as we all know, Jace is a vegetarian. And I saw Hannah last week sneaking meat into his food! *a gasp from Jace* I would like to know why she is doing this.
Hannah: Well, as we know, vegetarians need to take care to get enough proteins in their diet, and proteins are the building blocks of our bodies. They’re what give us nice hair. I had noticed that the quality of Jace’s hair was deteriorating as the weeks passes, and surmised that he was not taking steps to ensure he was getting enough protein in his diet. So I decided to sneak some meat into his food to improve his hair quality for my hair collage.
Mark: Hannah, I see that you’re very remorseful about this, and so I’m not going to be too strict. But you do have a problem, and so I’m going to send you to OCD counseling. Also, so that you won’t be tempted by Jace’s hair anymore, I’m going to have Jace shave his head. That way there will be NO more hair for you to take, and that will be the other part of your punishment.
Court adjourned.
Witness 1: Jace
Witness 2: Hannah
Defendant: Mark
Judge: Aynee
Jace: I own an ostrich farm, and was having problems with teaching one of my ostriches to run. He’s a slow learner. So I called the vet and asked him to come have a look at one of my ostriches. A little while later this man Mark showed up, and I assumed he was the vet. He drove up in his F150, took some of the boards out of my fence, and proceeded to herd the other 134 of my ostriches into the back of his truck, leaving the one who couldn’t run behind! Now, the back of an F150 is not very big, and he crammed all 134 in there, piling them up on top of one another! Then he drove away with my ostriches!
Mark: I was at home tapping the phone line (because I have no social life, and am very socially awkward) and overheard the call to the vet. I called the vet right back and told him not to worry – I had things under control. I drove out to Jace’s farm, loaded all the other ostriches into my truck, and what Jace neglected to mention, is that his ostrich did run. It was chasing us down the road. My method was effective.
Hannah: I own a mattress company, and these days people are really wanting to get back to their roots – everyone wants feather mattresses! However, I’ve had a hard time finding feathers. I contacted a man to see if he would look into where I could find more feathers. Chickens that weren’t going to make good meat, for example, and someone would like to sell. A few seconds later I received a call from this man Mark who told me he’d heard about my problem, and that he had a way to supply me with plenty of feathers, and that I could stuff more mattresses than I would know what to do with! A little while later he drove in with 134 ostriches piled high in the back of his pickup truck! I had no idea they were stolen, or I never would have accepted them. *turns to Jace* They’re all still fine. Well… almost all them. We did pluck one, but I assure you, he’s just fine! Maybe he can wear a sweater.
Jace: Oh, of course, I have plenty of ostrich sweaters.
Mark: I don’t see what the problem is here. I solved both people’s problems! I got Jace’s ostrich to run, and got Hannah the feathers she needed! I was going to return the ostriches after they were plucked. They would have been just fine. I did nothing wrong.
Aynee: Mark…. For one thing you were tapping a phone line which is illegal. And you also stole and don’t see that what you did was wrong. Because of that I feel you are dangerous to society and am sentencing you to life imprisonment.
Court adjourned
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